Dec. 28th, 2009

dirk_gently: (Multiverse symbol)
The Nexus is a fascinating place, but time goes by and life happens and casework is intermittent, but Dirk always finds enough bizarre happenings in his own life to keep him busy. He's formed a solid idea about his own existence as a weirdness magnet*. One month and then another and another goes by without Dirk visiting the Nexus. He thinks about the free food and drink though, when the money gets especially tight.
It's somewhere around his birthday, in September, that he starts reminiscing. Sure, the LOL's are a problem sometimes, but there are like-minded people and everything is free. Life would be so much better is everything was free. Life would be so much better if he just had money. Even just enough for a pizza. Dirk could really go for a pizza with anchovies, or maybe something new, like shrimp. It feels like a seafood kind of night...

Then the scheming part of Dirk's brain, which is always ticking away quietly in the background, lights up like a thousand-watt bulb. Lots of people like seafood, and that's why it's pricey, and somewhere off the Nexus there's a dimension of pre-cooked ready-to-eat shrimp just waiting to be plundered.

In less than a month the Cjelli Wholesale Shrimp Supply Co. is flourishing. Sure, every once in a while somebody comes down with a weird case of turning strange colors or becoming luminescent, but everyone knows that allergies to seafood aren't uncommon. It's the restaurants that usually take the brunt of the complaints, and as the wholesale supplier Dirk is quick to pass the buck back to them. It's not a glorious life, spending a large part of each day in snorkeling gear with a bucket, filling orders by PINpoint, but it's worth it for the money.

*Dirk once wrote a lengthy thesis on this subject, and submitted it to numerous scientific journals, but the only one that ever responded sent him a form letter to inform him that he's a crackpot. That they have a form letter of this kind to send out to the scientific community did not surprise him, but he's considered having it framed all the same.


dirk_gently: (Default)

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