dirk_gently: (phone drink cig)
Answering the phone for Maddie’s place is a cushy job, and it’s not raising Dirk’s opinion of his former secretary. Of course, Maddie’s business doesn’t get many calls from irate old ladies wanting to know why they’re being billed several hundred pounds for things like ‘realignment of causal stability’ when Dirk still hasn’t found their lost cat. Most of the calls have to do with opening and closing hours, whether they accept personal checks, the address, and other mundane questions, although she may have lost one customer when Dirk tried to engage them in conversation about the greater butterfly effect in their home dimension as dictated by what drinks people order on any given night. For the most part he’s doing the job well, and happy to work ‘overtime’. He has a chair, and a couple of scientific journals he’s borrowed from Doctor Octavius, and at the end of the day he’s got a bed to go sleep in without the risk of a mad dryad in the neighborhood.
He’ll actually sit and answer the phone until someone relieves him of the duty, comfortably rooted to the spot. One would expect he’d want more mental and social stimulation, but he seems very content just sitting in one spot. It’s possible the lack of exercise and sunlight isn’t a good thing, because he’s today he’s not looking entirely well. His skin has been developing a slightly darker grayish cast to it, when he does move his joints creak softly, and until the phone rings he tends to sit so perfectly still that anyone passing by might feel compelled to check to make sure he’s still breathing.
dirk_gently: (cupotea)
Hmm. Now I wish I'd emptied the dustbins before I left the office. For those not up to date, I left home in rather a hurry. If you see any trees that seem to have come from nowhere in your home dimension, I recommend fleeing to the Nexus as swiftly as possible, and spreading the word. I was attacked by a voluptuous raving mad dryad in my own neighbourhood, and evidently I'm not the only one. It's some kind of cross-dimensional epidemic. The incident and it's multiversal ramifications are under investigation by myself and others.

It must be getting towards winter, I'm so stiff the past couple of days. I know I've got a birthday next month, but I am Not That Bloody Old. It's ridiculous.
dirk_gently: (Impending Doom)
Dirk strenuously denies he has any kind of psychic powers, but in his heart he has to admit that his senses do seem to go beyond those of anyone else he knows in his own world. What bothers him most is the way the ability always creeps up and smacks him in the face when he least expects it. When he truly focuses, actually tries to reach deep down for that sixth, seventh, eight, maybe even ninth sense*, he’s rewarded with a resounding hollow nothing. It’s the offhand comments, the meaningless babble and patter that ends up coming back to haunt him, turning out to be prophecy so startlingly accurate it cannot be denied. On the other hand his sense of premonition has saved him from harm more than once. Read more... )

*After careful analysis, Dirk’s already categorized and counted his extra senses, and a last check put him up to at least eight.

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dirk_gently

April 2015

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